I Meant You No Harm
by AddieGreysPPPEvilRegal9119
Summary: AU; Pre-Grey's. On night of the affair, more than just Derek and Addison's marriage ends.


**a/n: So I KNOW that I've stayed away for far too long! Real life and school and stuff has gotten in the way. But I just read living-daydream's one shot's, based on her amazing Addek fanfic, "Finding Our Way". If you have not read it, GO READ IT! The one shots are the best...chapter 5 made me cry, literally. Anywho, this one shot was adapted from role play. It's Addek and it's based on the night of the affair. It's pretty much the same but, there's a twist; Addison and Derek had a kid who was there the night of the affair. Mmhmm. But that's all I'm giving away. It's pretty tragic, but after reading living-daydream's one shots, I just HAD to post this! Oh the lyrics are from the movie Dreamgirls with Eddie Murphy, Anika Noni Rose, Beyonce and Jennifer Hudson!**

**Enjoy **

**Xx**

_I meant you no harm_  
_I never meant to make you cry_  
_You were the only one I've ever loved in my life_  
_And though its hard for me to show itI have to let you know it_  
_Cuz darling I love you more each dayBut the words got in my way_  
_Oh I meant you no harm_  
_And I would die_  
_If you ever said goodbye_  
_I love you, I love you_  
_I meant you no harm_  
_I never never meant to make you cry_  
_You are the only one I'll ever love in my life_

_**Manhattan, October 2004**_

_**Friday Morning:**_

Derek comes over to pick up 4 year old Blake Christopher Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd from his soon to be ex wife Addison.  
He can't believe that she's actually filed for divorce, or well separation now. Divorce is only a matter of time .Had he been that blind to her wants and needs? He arrives at the brownstone, but he doesn't use his key. She's told him countless times "Derek, this is still your house, you can use your key"But out of respect for her, he doesn't use it. He's got an apartment over on 125th, it's nice, but it isn't like being at the brownstone. She opens the door for him and, he notices how beautiful she looks. She's probably just waking up; she's probably been awake about an hour or so. Her hair's framing her face perfectly as she peaks through the half open door.

"Derek, hey"  
"Hey, I came by to get Blake"  
"Oh"  
"Everything okay?"  
"He's sick"  
"Sick?"  
"Yeah, he's got a cold; he's running a bit of a temp. He's not well enough to go to school"  
"Did you give him something?"  
"Of course"  
"So what are you gonna do?"  
"As much as I'd love to stay home with him, I've got a few surgeries scheduled for today...maybe your mother can watch him?"  
"Yeah, she'd love to watch him" Derek says as Addison goes back into the house to get the sleeping Blake, who fell asleep on the couch after she'd gotten him dressed.  
"Blake? baby"  
"Mmmm, Mommy?"  
"Wake up honey, your daddy's here"  
"Daddy?"  
"Mmhm"  
"But, I want you"  
"Honey, mommy has to work"  
"But I'm sick. You takes good care of me when I'm sick mama"  
"I know, but grandma can take care of you"  
"But I don't want grandma, I want you. Grandma doesn't do it right"  
"Maybe you can show her how mommy does it"  
It takes a few moments but soon enough, Derek is leaving with Blake.

...

Addison's day is pretty normal, until she ends up in bed with Mark. She doesn't hear Derek come in; he'd knocked on the door several minutes before using his key. Years later, he'll wish he had listened to his mother's advice.

_"Derek, it's 9:00 at night. Let Blake stay here"_  
_"Ma, he's supposed to go home with Addison"_  
_"Derek's it's storming out and he's got a cold. I think Addie would understand if he spent the night; she could come and get him on her way to work tomorrow"_  
_"Ma..."_  
_"I'm calling Addison Derek"_  
_"No! I'm taking Blake home, where he belongs"_

Now, nearly 10 years later, he wishes he'd listened to his mother's voice and let Blake stay at her place. He knows Addison wouldn't have minded. Maybe his son would be alive today...

He instantly knows that something is amiss in his home. Everything is in place, aside from the fact that there is a jacket near the banister.  
It's a leather jacket, which looks familiar to him.  
And everything he's ever known, shifts.  
He puts Blake, who is asleep, upstairs in his bed before walking down the hall to his own room.  
The light is on and the door is cracked, a small spray of light coming from the room. His heart beats faster as he hears a noise.  
A Moan.  
_"Ohhhh"_  
He stops, because he already knows what he's going to find when he opens the door to his bedroom; he knows that his wife will be cheating on him.  
What he doesn't expect, is to find his wife on top of his best friend, riding him as he fucks her into oblivion. She's moaning and making noises that he didn't even know she could make.  
_"Oh God, Mark!"_  
_"Mmmm babe!"_  
_"Oh fuck!"_  
_He stands there, watching from the doorway as his wife rides his best friend, who's grunting her name lowly._  
_"Fuck Red"_  
_"Jesus Addison"_  
It's passionate, more passionate than what they ever had. Addison is gripping the sheets, moaning, her head thrown back as she climaxes, hard.  
_"Oh God Mark! Yes! Oh God Mark"_  
Its not until they've both come down from their highs that they notice him.  
_"Oh my God, Derek!"_  
_"Derek, I'm sorry man"_

But it's too late, he's already walked away.  
He remains downstairs, watching angrily as Mark rushes down the stairs a few moments later.  
Once Mark is gone, he heads upstairs to deal with his adulterous wife.

* * *

_"Derek, Derek listen to me, Derek you can't do this! Derek We have to-we need to talk about this, you have to give me a chance to explain…what are you doing, what are you doing with my clothes?"_  
_"Derek it was one time! I know that's what people say, I know that's what always gets said it's just…I don't even know how it happened, I don't know what I was thinking…he was just here"_  
_"You screw my best friend and all you can say is 'he was just here'? get out"_  
_"No"_  
_"Get out"_  
_"No, No I'm not going, we need to talk about this! We need to talk about this Derek Please"_  
_"Get out of my house now"_  
_"No I'm holding my ground. I'm holding my ground…we don't quit! We have to work…what are you doing? Derek…no!"_  
_"Derek! Derek please!"_

He's thrown her out into the rain.  
She's banging on the door, crying to be let in. He's standing there, leaning against the door.  
Until he hears a small voice.

_"Daddy?"_

Blake is at the bottom of the stairs, wiping his noise; his eyes are full of fear.

_"Buddy-"_

Addison can hear them.

_"Derek, Derek let me in!"_  
_"Mommy? Daddy! Let her in! I want mommy!"_  
_"Derek please, let me in!"_

He has no choice but to let her in now, Blake is crying and he hates to see his son cry.  
Once he opens the door, Blake is rushing into Addison's arms; she's completely soaked from the rain, wearing nothing but his (or Mark's he can't really tell) old Clash T-Shirt). Blake is clinging to her, while she's clinging to Derek.

_"I'm sorry, I'm sorry okay, you have to give me a chance, you have to give me a chance to show you how sorry I am…I'm sorry okay"_  
_"I'm gonna go you stay I'll get my things in the morning"_  
_"No, no, no, no, no, we can survive this…Derek we can survive this…we're, we're 'Addison-and-Derek'"_  
_"I can't look at you…I look at you and I feel nauseous….I just…We're not Addison-and-Derek anymore"_  
_"If you go now…if you go now we are not gonna get through this…If you go now, we don't have a chance…we don't have a chance…if you go now…if you go"_

But Derek leaves.

...

Before she has time to process what's happened, Blake is running out the door.  
He's 4, dressed in his pajamas with no shoes.  
It's raining out and he has a cold.  
She has no choice but to go after him.  
_"Blake! Blake come back!"_  
He's always been a fast runner, he's halfway down the block; the rain is really pouring now, but she's still keeping up with him.  
_"Blake! Blake come back!"_  
But Blake only wants Derek.

_"Daddy! Daddy come back!"_

He slips and falls and she thinks she can catch him, but he instantly gets up and starts running again, despite the fact that his favorite Thomas the Train pajamas are ripped at the knee and he's got scratches on his knee and elbows, which are bleeding from hitting the Manhattan concrete so hard.  
He's still running, still chasing after his daddy.  
He's almost to the stop sign at the end of the block; the brownstone seems so far away now.  
He can see the Taxi Cab carrying his father. He stops at the stop sign, looking both ways, just like mommy and daddy have been teaching him lately.  
Addison's almost there when, she slips and falls, possibly twisting her ankle.  
Then, she hears it: the screeching tires followed by a bump.  
She knows; Blake's been hit.  
By the time she gets up, with the help of a neighbor who'd heard the commotion coming from the Montgomery-Shepherd home only minutes ago, there's a crowd of people gathered in the street.  
_"I didn't see him! I didn't see him!"_ An Arab cab driver with a heavy accent is saying, tears pooling his eyes  
_"Someone call 911!"_  
_"Where are his parents?!"_

By the time Addison gets to the scene, she already knows, Blake won't make it.  
But it doesn't stop her from screaming hysterically as she tries to pick him up, but he's partially stuck underneath the cab.

* * *

Only a few yards away, Derek is in his cab. Traffic is pretty heavy tonight. He notices his driver looking through his rear view mirror at what appears to be an accident. Something is telling Derek to get out of the cab, he listens to that voice.

_"Hey, get back here! You didn't pay me!"_ The cabby shouts.

Almost as soon as he gets out of the cab, he can hear her .She's crying out for their son, to get up.

_"Blake! Blake! BLAKE!"_And almost instantly, he rushes to her side.  
_"Addison, what happened?!"_  
_"He was running, trying to go after you and...I tried to catch him but I slipped, Derek I slipped...I'm sorry!"_

Derek knows that by looking at his little boy, that Blake is going to die.  
He knows this, the doctor in him knows, but as a parent, he's going to do everything he can to try and save his son.

It takes a full 20 minutes to get Blake unpinned from underneath the cab and to Mount boss, the chief of surgery Jack McConnell is working on Blake. He's pulled people from nearly every department to try work on "New York's top surgeons" son.  
But it's too is already brain dead; the impact of his tiny skull onto the hard cement was enough to do irreversible brain damage.  
That, along with his tiny lungs nearly being crushed underneath the cab, causes him to circle the drain.  
All of the doctors know what this won't be long now, until Blake is dead.

...

When they deliver the news to Derek, Addison and their family (somehow Derek's family as well as Addison's family had been notified), it's Addison that takes it the hardest. She doesn't want to believe it, doesn't want to accept it. She thinks that putting him on life support will give him time.  
_"Archie, be honest with me, what would putting him on life support do?"_ she asks her brother.  
He's the only one(Aside from Mark, but she can't have Mark touching her, not right now) who she'll let comfort her.  
They're in an on-call room, Archer's holding her close. She couldn't stand being around Derek's family and their shrill cries of 'you killed Blake'.  
It wasn't her fault, it wasn't her fucking fault.  
But in the back of her head, she rationalizes that it is.  
If only she hadn't slept with Mark then maybe none of this would be happening she thinks to herself.  
_"Archie, tell me_" she asks  
_"Well, it'll only prolong the inevitable; but eventually...he's gonna die Addie. I'm so sorry but, Blake's gonna die. If he stays on life support for so long, his organs are gonna start to deteriorate_"

Its with that, she knows what she has to do.

...

She walks back out into the waiting room, where Derek's family is sitting on one side, comforting him, like he's the poor fucking pitiful one.

It disgusts her.  
She hates them all, accept Nancy and Amelia.  
They all look at her, their eyes daggers of hate. Derek's eyes are the only ones that don't see hate; they only see sadness.

_"Addie?"_  
_"I don't want him to suffer. Let him go in peace"_ She says quietly.

Her voice is strong. She'd cleaned herself up to look presentable as she could before going out to talk to everyone. She looks, like a Montgomery, strong.  
It's just her and Derek in the room when Blake goes.

She's in his bed, holding him close, whispering softly to her only son.  
Derek's there, holding Blake's hand; he whispers to him occasionally, letting him know that he was there, and how sorry he was about what had happened.  
Blake opens his eyes, briefly.  
He takes a few strangled breaths, and in that moment Addison talks softly to him.

"Mommy's here Blake. I'm right here. I love you so much. I'm so sorry baby. I am so sorry this happened to you"

She doesn't get to say anything else after that, because at 2:58 a.m. Blake Christopher Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd takes his last breath.

And his parents, are never the same again after that.


End file.
